Oh yes i laugh along at Portlandia when they roast the guy who forgot the grocery bag and when they talk about the life of the chicken that they are about to eat and whether he lived a happy life. By the way I chanced upon this series MUCH older than Portlandia and from our very own Seattle that spoke about similar quirks in the pacific northwest- Almost Live! Note this bit where they talk about Alan, the salmon which will be their entree. Funniness existed here before Portlandia people! (Just had to get that in).
Yes so i laugh and look at my better/worse half and we tell each other, ‘we won’t become like THAT right, haha’ and move on to the next old episode of Cheers to plagiarize some of the more cooler jokes from there that you can still get away with repeating in 2014 (there is a treasure trove out there my friends; only i’m not the kind to regale you in public with funny stories, else I’d definitely use them). I do cringe to tell the cashier every time i forget to bring the grocery bags with me but I live.
We are always teetering on the edge, we are. I mean in the pacific northwest, Seattle and Portland and even smaller islands around like Vashon and Whidbey are all havens for organic, local, sustainably and ethically produced food and we are kind of proud of it. Every store here, including Walmart (!) has an organic selection and of course we have the most number of dustbins ever! I went to Las Vegas last year and spent 5 minutes staring at the lone dustbin standing in the corner of the massive casino wondering where to throw my food-waste and paper. Honest. And it doesn’t help when my dear brother sends me links like this one. It is tough, one doesn’t want to be become the one we make fun of. But but..
So our recent visitors were really nice people both professionals and well to do and genuinely nice. I observed that they bought bottled water everyday but reserved judgement (i thought) and concentrated on playing with their little one- vastly entertaining at just 6 months of age. Then on day 2, the girl asked me how i didn’t get thirsty. It was a hot day, we had been out and i hadn’t had water in a while so it was a normal question to ask. Before i knew it i had launched off into ” oh i just don’t buy bottled water. You know we are very proud of our water in Seattle. We spend lots of money to clean it and the city tries to encourage us to drink the water. Anyway the quality of water in general is excellent, one of the best, in Seattle..” As i said the first sentence i knew i should stop but it was like I was unstoppably highfaluting. I just couldn’t stop. But I knew it. I knew i was being a jerk and I knew it was a normal question from a normal human being and that I was being judgmental and windy but I couldn’t stop it.
I made up for the behavior. I didn’t say anything about it but kept my mouth shut for the most part. I am still abashed just thinking of the new douchebag levels I achieved that day. I am sorry my dear girl. I know I won’t have the heart to bring this up when we meet to apologize but I really am sorry and didn’t mean to be judgmental. Till the next time I act like a pretentious jerk…